Free Ringer

Do Round Numbers Roll Downhill?

2006-07-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

Interesting to note that government studies show that 30-percent of American schoolchildren, that's over half, suck at math, and things involving math, like arithmetic. Of course, those studies themselves rely heavily on math compiled by Americans who were once schoolchildren. So there's a good chance that they're just flat wrong.
As a public service Free Ringer is making available math exercises disguised as ringtones. We have prepared a couple of "Times Tables" ringers, which will assist you in learning how to multiply large numbers such as 3, or 12. Those kids on the short bus will want to choose the 3's, while college placement types will find the 12's more stimulationating.
One caveat, the underlying audio of these ringers was recorded back in the 1950s. That's back before advanced math concepts such as algeometry were even invented. We can not guarantee that the static and unyeilding times tables of fifty years ago are still valid today. Does 3 times 3 still in fact, equal 9? They're your numbers, you decide.

- Times Tables - 3's :24

- Times Tables - 12's :24

As He Approaches The 18th Tee...

2006-06-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

Four international businessmen are on the golf course, and there is a ringing sound. The Canadian guy goes to his golf bag, pulls out his cellular phone and talks for a minute with his office. "Very important to be in touch these days," he says. "Yes," his golfing partners agree.
A little bit later another, a different ring is heard, and the American golfer holds his hand up to his head and starts talking in what is clearly a real conversation. After the call he explains to his friends, "It's the very latest in cellular technology--a speaker is attached to my thumb, and a microphone to my pinky. You can't even tell I have it on."
A couple of holes later, a different, muted, ringing sound is heard, and the German businessman in the foursome stands erect and begins talking, again an obviously real conversation. When finished he explains, "This really is the latest in cellular technology. A speaker is implanted in my ear, and a microphone in the backside of a front tooth."
Suitably impressed, the foursome continues their game. Suddenly, the Japanese golfer excuses himself and ducks behind a bush. After he doesn't re-appear for several minutes, the American golfer goes to make sure he is okay. He finds him behind the bushes squatting down with his pants around his ankles. "Is everything okay?" asks the American. "Yes," replies the Japanese golfer, "If you could just give me a minute here, I'm expecting a fax..."
Now, a couple of ringers for the golfers among us. These beauties are distilled from Arnold Palmer's "Personal Golf Instructions From Driver Thru Putter."

- Arnie - At Impact :04

- Arnie - The Follow Through :18

Presidential Ringers

2006-06-29T02:26:00.000-07:00

Nothing could possibly be more thrilling than receiving a call from the President of the United States...especially a dead one. Our John F. Kennedy ringer begins with a voice clip of the prez affirming his solidarity with the people of Berlin. This naturally flows into a beer garden oompa band. And Richard Nixon is Proud! Proud of you and proud to be able to talk to you from the great oval office in the sky.

- JFK Polka

- Proud Nixon

Call For Tony. Or Billy.

2006-06-29T01:41:00.000-07:00

Here's a couple of ringers we've distilled from the 1964 pop song, The Name Game by Shirley (Shirley Shirley Bo Birley, Banana Fanna Fo Firley, Fee Fi Mo Mirley, Shirley) Ellis. Great for Tony or Toni. And Billy or Billie.

- Billy Billy Bo Billy

- Tony Tony Bo Bony

Ringing The Trumpet Bell

2006-06-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

Here's a couple of ringtones we fabricamated for our buddies over at All-Trumpets.Com. We've got a steady date thing going with them to work-up trumpet based ringers. Enjoy these two...Trumpeter's Lullaby is a mellow ringer...Java's got a little more jive going on.

- Trumpeter's Lullaby

- Java

Ring Ring Hello Hello

2006-06-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

Actual attempt at conversation overheard in Aisle 6, by the spaghetti sauce.

Helloo?

Helloo?

Is there anybody there?

Helloo?

How do you work this damn thing?

Helloo?